For the Pasta:

• 1 pound rotini pasta (the spiral guys – they catch all the good stuff)
• Salt for the pasta water (like, a lot – it should taste like the ocean)

For All The Goodies:

• 8 oz salami, diced into bite-sized pieces (the good stuff from the deli counter, not the pre-packaged slices)
• 8 oz fresh mozzarella pearls (or a block cut into cubes if you can’t find the little balls)
• 1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved (get the mixed colors if you can find them – they’re prettier)
• 1 large cucumber, seeded and diced (I leave the skin on because I’m lazy, but peel it if you’re fancy)
• 1 red bell pepper, diced (yellow or orange works too – green is fine but less sweet)
• 1/2 red onion, finely diced (soak in ice water for 10 minutes if you hate that strong onion bite)
• 1 cup pitted olives, halved (I use a mix of kalamata and green, but use whatever you like)
• 1/2 cup pepperoncini, sliced (the tangy little pickled peppers – these are key!)
• 1/2 cup fresh basil, roughly torn or chopped (please don’t use dried – this isn’t negotiable)
• 1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped (again, fresh only!)
• 1/2 cup artichoke hearts, quartered (the marinated kind, drained and patted dry)
• 1/3 cup grated parmesan cheese (not the stuff in the green can, please and thank you)

For the Life-Changing Dressing:

• 1/2 cup good olive oil (this is not the time for the cheap stuff)
• 1/4 cup red wine vinegar
• 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard (helps everything emulsify and stay mixed)
• 3 cloves garlic, minced (or 4, or 5, I don’t judge)
• 2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
• 1 teaspoon honey (balances the acidity)
• 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (adjust to your spice preference)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon fresh cracked black pepper
• 1 tablespoon finely grated parmesan (the secret ingredient that adds umami!)