Creamy Bacon Pasta

Look, I’m Not Even Going to Pretend This is Healthy

Let’s just get this out of the way – this pasta is basically a heart attack on a plate, and I make ZERO apologies for it. This is my go-to “bad day at work” dinner, my “friends are coming over and I want to impress them with minimal effort” dinner, and my “it’s freezing outside and I need comfort food NOW” dinner. It’s creamy, it’s bacony, it’s garlicky, and it makes everything better. You can add vegetables if you want to pretend it’s balanced, but honestly? This is indulgence pasta, pure and simple.

Why You Need This Recipe in Your Life

• It’s ready in about 30 minutes, which is faster than delivery pizza.
• The ingredient list is short and most of it is probably already in your kitchen.
• The sauce is so good you’ll want to lick the plate (I’ve done it, no judgment).
• Everyone who eats it will think you’re some kind of pasta wizard.
• Bacon. Do I really need to say more?
• Leftovers (if there are any) might actually taste better the next day.
• It’s customizable if you want to fancy it up, but perfect as-is.

What You’ll Need

• 1 pound pasta (fettuccine is my go-to, but penne, rigatoni, or whatever you’ve got works)
• 1 pound bacon (get the good stuff – this is no time for turkey bacon)
• 6 cloves garlic, minced (or more, I won’t tell)
• 1 small onion, diced (yellow or white, doesn’t matter much)
• 2 cups heavy cream (told you this wasn’t health food)
• 1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese (please, for the love of everything, not the stuff in the green can)
• 4 egg yolks (this is what makes it silky – don’t skip it)
• 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes (adjust to your spice tolerance)
• Salt and black pepper (be generous)
• Optional but awesome: fresh parsley or basil for garnish

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Let’s Do This

Step 1: Bacon Magic (10 minutes)

1. Cut your bacon into roughly 1/2-inch pieces. I use kitchen scissors because it’s easier than knife-cutting raw bacon.
2. Throw it in a COLD large, deep skillet, then turn the heat to medium. Starting with a cold pan helps render the fat more evenly.
3. Cook until the bacon is crispy but not burnt, about 8-10 minutes. Stir occasionally so it doesn’t stick.
4. Use a slotted spoon to transfer the bacon to a paper towel-lined plate. Try not to eat all of it while cooking the rest of the meal. (I always make extra bacon because I know I’ll snack on it.)
5. IMPORTANT: Save about 3 tablespoons of that bacon grease in the pan. Pour the rest into a jar to save for other cooking or discard if you must.

Step 2: Pasta Time (12 minutes)

1. While your bacon is cooking, bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add enough salt that it tastes like the ocean. Yes, that much salt.
2. Toss in your pasta and cook until al dente according to package directions. Usually around 8-10 minutes.
3. BEFORE draining, scoop out about 1 cup of that starchy pasta water. This is liquid gold for our sauce.
4. Drain the pasta but DO NOT RINSE IT. The starch helps the sauce stick.

Step 3: Make it Creamy (8 minutes)

1. Return your bacon pan with the reserved grease to medium heat.
2. Add the diced onion and cook until it’s soft and translucent, about 3-4 minutes.
3. Throw in the garlic and red pepper flakes, cooking for just about 30 seconds until fragrant. Don’t let the garlic burn or it’ll get bitter.
4. Pour in the heavy cream, scraping the bottom of the pan to get all those good bacon bits. Bring to a gentle simmer (not a full boil) and cook for about 3-4 minutes until it starts to thicken slightly.
5. Turn the heat DOWN to low (this is crucial).

Step 4: Bring it All Together (5 minutes)

1. In a small bowl, whisk together the egg yolks and about 1/4 cup of the hot cream from your pan. This tempers the eggs so they don’t scramble. (Nobody wants scrambled egg pasta.)
2. With the heat on LOW, slowly pour the egg mixture into the skillet, stirring constantly.
3. Add the grated Parmesan, stirring until melted.
4. Add the cooked pasta directly to the sauce. If it seems too thick, add a splash of that reserved pasta water to loosen it up.
5. Toss in most of the bacon (save some for topping), and give everything a good mix to coat the pasta.
6. Season with salt and pepper to taste – it’ll probably need less salt than you think because of the bacon and cheese.

Step 5: Serve it Up

1. Divide into bowls and top with the remaining bacon bits, a little more grated Parmesan, and some chopped parsley or basil if you’re fancy.
2. Serve immediately while it’s hot and creamy.
3. Accept all compliments graciously.

Make It Your Own

This pasta is pretty perfect as is, but if you want to switch things up:

• Add Veggies: Throw in some peas, asparagus, or spinach at the end to pretend it’s healthy.
• Chicken It Up: Add some diced rotisserie chicken if you need more protein.
• Mushroom Magic: Sauté some mushrooms after the bacon and before the onion for an earthy twist.
• Boozy Version: Splash in a little white wine after cooking the onions and before adding the cream. Let it reduce for a minute.
• Herby Goodness: Add different herbs like thyme or oregano for varied flavor profiles.
• Seafood Swap: Replace bacon with pancetta and add some cooked shrimp at the end for a fancier dinner.

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Troubleshooting

Q: Help! My sauce curdled/my eggs scrambled!
A: Your heat was too high. Next time, make sure you take the pan off the heat completely when adding the egg mixture, and keep stirring constantly. You can somewhat fix it by straining the sauce and adding a bit more cream.

Q: My sauce is too thin!
A: Let it simmer a bit longer before adding the pasta. Also, make sure you’re using heavy cream, not half-and-half or milk.

Q: It’s too thick and gloopy!
A: Add more of that reserved pasta water, a little at a time, until it reaches your desired consistency.

Q: I don’t eat pork. Can I still make this?
A: Absolutely. Use turkey bacon or skip the bacon entirely and use 3 tablespoons of olive oil or butter instead. Add a bit of smoked paprika to get some of that smoky flavor.

Q: Can I make this ahead of time?
A: This is definitely best fresh, but if you must, make the sauce slightly thinner than you want (it’ll thicken as it cools). Reheat gently with a splash of cream or milk, and maybe add fresh bacon on top since it’ll lose its crispness.

Leftover Magic

If you somehow have leftovers, store them in the fridge for up to 3 days. To reheat:

1. Add a splash of milk or cream to the cold pasta.
2. Heat gently in a pan on low-medium heat, stirring often.
3. OR microwave at 50% power in 30-second bursts, stirring between each.

Pro tip: Cold leftovers actually make an amazing pasta frittata. Mix with a few beaten eggs and some extra cheese, then bake until set. Breakfast of champions!

Final Thoughts

This is one of those recipes that looks and tastes way more complicated than it actually is. It’s basically just bacon, cream, cheese, and eggs – but somehow it turns into this magical, restaurant-quality dish that’ll make you feel like a culinary genius. Just don’t tell anyone how easy it is, and they’ll think you slaved away for hours. Your secret is safe with me.

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